Friendship Break Up

To my friend who recently broke up with her another friend, this is for you.

People come and go. We know this by heart but it doesn’t mean it hurt any less.

The first time you experienced it nakakabigla. Masakit. Friendship niyo nawala? No way,man! Kaya mapapatanong ka ng, “Totoo ba ‘to?” Iiyakan mo ‘yan todo-todo. Mabigat sa feelings. Masakit pa sa girlfriend-boyfriend break up. Sa susunod na mangyari hindi ka pa din masasanay kahit sabihin mong manhid ka na. Lalabas ‘yan pag nawalan ka ulit ng kaibigan, kapag umalis ulit sila sa buhay mo.

Minsan kahit alam mo ang dahilan ng friendship break up ay shitty pa din sa feelings. Pero madalas, hindi. Kaya may maglalarong tanong na ‘bakit?’ sa utak mo na tatagal siguro ng ilang araw, linggo, buwan o taon e, nandyan pa din. Mahirap kasi maiwan sa ere. Sa sakit pakiramdam mo ilang bahagi ng katawan mo ang kumalas sayo. Malilimutan na rin minsan ang hinahanap na sagot sa tanong na ‘bakit?’ sa pag tagal. Sa paglipas ng panahon.

Ganon naman talaga, ‘di ba? We’re friends now, but as soon as the gap widens, the close proximity is gone, and the communication fades, wala na.

Sad ‘no?

It will sting like a bitch. Worst, sometimes it’ll destroy you. Magagalit ka sa kanya, sa sarili mo. Minsan ku-kwistyon-in mo na sarili mo kung may problema ba sayo kasi iniiwan ka nila. Tulad ng sabi mo kasi madalas iba ka sa kanila. Sa kanya. Iba ‘yung mga bagay na gusto mo. ‘Di kayo magkatugma ng trip. Sa panlasa sa mga bagay-bagay. Pero sa totoo lang, okay lang naman ‘yun. Maganda nga ‘yun kasi may matututunan kayo sa isa’t isa. Kaso di gano’n nangyari.

Ako din naman madalas gano’n e. I read a lot of books– I love books which most of my friends are not fond of it. I watch movies and TV series that hard to find a friend who’s also watching it too. I fangirl too much over something. Matindi, kahit nga sa taste of music ko, walang makaintindi e. I’m really had a hard time finding someone who can jibe with my genre. They didn’t appreciate indie pop and alternative rock. Kaya minsan napipilitan akong patugtugin ‘yung Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito. Hahahaha. Isama mo pa ‘yung pagka-ayaw ko sa Hawaiian pizza above all flavors.

See that? Ayos lang maging iba sa nakakarami. Just don’t lose your quirk. It’s what makes you interesting. Embrace the weirdo in you. I guess what I’m trying to say here is, you just need a friend who will understand you, accept you for being who you are and stay with you despite of your clashing personalities. After all, we’re differently in our own way. What important is, you know in yourself that the kind of friendship you’ve given them is pure and genuine. What you showed them was the real you.

It’s sad. There’s a void. But there’s an acceptance– you have to.

Maybe the friendship was not really meant.

Every friendship break up there’s a lesson learned. We grow. We became matured. We realized a lot of things. Friendship break up hurts like fuck everytime. It also killed some part of you, but for the better version of ourselves today, it is still a thank you.

Just treasured those who stayed and real to you.

And hey, I’m still here. You always have me,girl. Always will.

-K

Life Lately | Vol. 7

I’ve been giddy about doing another Life lately talaga, to be honest, Out of all link-ups kasi, I enjoy this one the most. I’m excited to share to you my whereabouts this past few weeks.

Firstly, last December 3 I joined to Fun Run, again. Yeah I currently enjoy running. It’s a run for a cause. Their advocacy is to support literacy initiatives for Filipino school children. This is a running event that allows people to have fun while helping more children learn how to read.

We filled the town with red and white colors!

I really enjoyed the event’s unique theme. Especially seeing the parents holding their kids, children pulling their moms– it was a whole family bonding, it was just priceless.

McD’s stripes run was also graced by local celebrity: Enrique Gil, The MayWard love team, Gil Cuerva, Jason Abalos, Jackie Lou Blanco, Bianca Gonzales, Alden Richard, Marian Rivera, and Dingdong Dantes. And Omigad! I’m so sorry to the others who also graced the event that I forgot.

“The MayWard Love Team”

Disclaimer: This image is from Aldub’s Facebook page.

So yeah, it such a nice event and experience that I’ll surely treasure in my heart. Also, massive thanks again to McDonald’s for this kind of event to help the kids to read! Congratulations to all who joined.

Secondly, I’m soooooo excited because I got a ticket for #ParamoreTourFourMNL!!! *ehem*

No one can’t stop me from watching it. Hahahaha! 2018 is gonna be lit!

Hard times indeed!

I was in high school when I started listening to Paramore. And since then, they have dominated a huge part of my life. And I’m able to see them now. I’m shookt!

However, I’m sad for those Parafamily who aren’t able to buy the tix because of these scalpers and tickets hoarders who sells the tix thrice from its original price. These scalpers don’t have any idea how they robbed the Parawhore, the 90’s kids who have been huge fans since years ago and only had the means now to pay for a ticket. But they ruined the fans’ dream.

It’s heartbreaking,dude.

Thirdly, I’m trying to finish my drafts on Six sides of falling and I’m also writing a book review since I got an advance reader’s copy. Can I give my self an award for continuously being so productive? Hahaha charot.

So that’s all. Lemme close this post by saying,

“Give thanks in everything”

– 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Have a rockin’ day and a wonderful holiday season, everyone!

-K

Perfectly Imperfect

There are days that you feeling sorry for yourself. The days that you feel you’re ugly, that you’re not enough. There are so many things you want to change to yourself especially when you look into the mirror. You don’t like what you see and it gives you absurd and rather expensive thoughts. It’s not that you body shaming yourself but it seems like that.

You don’t see yourself as beautiful. All you know is that if you’re eyebrows are not perfectly plucked, or if you’re not pimple free, you are far from being beautiful. And if you can’t fit a size zero dress or jeans that hug you tight, you must be obese. And if you’re skinny, then you are absolutely ugly. And if the photo that you posted on social media can’t get a hundred likes – the today’s basis of being beautiful; the currency of the millennial generation, then you’re not famous. Not pretty. And if you can’t get a date because some girls thinks that having spectacles is not attractive – who is to say the rest you is? And if you cannot make it to a basketball team because you’re not fit, then you must be horrible at everything. And those pills that you swallow down are not helping you to have a whiter skin or those pills are not cutting away the fat, so you look in the mirror and lock yourself in your room and cry. Cry because the guy who makes butterflies inside your stomach will never give a glance at you because you’re hideous. Cry because you’re being turned down by the girl next door because you’re just only this plain-looking guy. Claw at your hair, muttering curses to yourself because your friends are making fun of you.

You think you’re not beautiful.

You think you’re not worthy.

But you aren’t. You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful. You’re worthy. You’re enough. You makes me continue writing this. Whoever you are, wherever you are, you are absolutely brilliant. You are the star in the sky and yes, there are stars that shines brighter than others. But who is to say that you will never become a Supernova?

I love you for being the person you are today. The person you are as you woke up in the morning – who is way to oblivious to your faltering smile, as you walk down the streets, slide the backpack on your shoulder, and face the world. I wanted you to know that you’re worthy to this Earth. You are what makes it spin. If you disappeared, the Earth would tilt at the sudden shift of emptiness.

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. And those who refuse to see your worth or put the notion that you’re not good enough is someone you don’t need around.

Don’t let them to get to you.

Don’t get too busy admiring the beauty in others that you forget to see the beauty in yourself.

You’re handsome.

You’re gorgeous.

You are all beautiful!

The things you see as flaws or imperfections make you the wonderful person you are.

Embrace it all, because you are beautiful.

You are more beautiful than you think.

Life Lately | Vol. 6

Hi dudes!

This is an ecstatic, happy and blessed start to November for me. I can’t even put them into words. Just…wow! God is really a wonder. It’s amazing how my feelings did a 180 and turned from blue to shining gold. And I’m so productive these past few weeks, I must say.

*cough* So, what’s been happening?

Firstly, two weeks ago, I joined to Hello Kitty Run 2017 with “Link Love Together” concept promoted in the race and in their merchandise at SM by the Bay, SM Mall Of Asia. Perhaps, this is the largest fun run I’ve seen in my life with more than 10,000 participants – since this is only my second time to join in Fun Run which first is when I was in college.

I’m not a big fan of Hello Kitty but, this had really caught my attention that’s why once I found out about this I told to myself that I HAVE to join this Kitty run!

Image via Facebook

Okay, let’s run with me!

I prefer to start on the fourth wave which starts at 6:45AM. Gotta start the day right!

The event area was teeming with participants of all ages when I arrived. And it was simply a sight to behold.  It was a sea of people wearing pink!  Imagine how cute the runners were by wearing their Hello Kitty stuff and Hello Kitty attires. See, We have painted the town PINK!

At around the second kilometer of the race, I stopped because there were some containers there where you’d pick a rolled-up paper inside. I really thought that it was some sort of extra-mini-surprise-challenge. Hahahaha. I know I’m weird to thought of that but that’s me who’s always go for the adventure and thrill, e. Lol. Anyway, it just some words of encouragement, kind of like a fortune cookies. Yeah, it’s not a freebie.

Thank you & Remember to Exercise at least 30 minutes a day! 🙂

So overall, I finished my race. What’s funny is the race was an utter mess. The participants crowding the area and taking selfies and there were cars and bikes occasionally disrupting the mood by entering the event’s designated routes and asking the participants to move, plus the gloomy weather that seemed ready to give a downpour anytime but thankfully the weather cooperated. And also, those handing over the finishers’ medals have no means of knowing if you actually crossed the finish line or not. Anyone could just go to them and ask for it. However,I really had fun with the first ever Hello Kitty Run in the Philippines. The ambiance was a true embodiment of a fun run! It was a relaxed pace all-throughout the race with such a cute, festive and pink atmosphere. Everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves.

So to those who completed this event, Congratulations!

Secondly, I had a not-so- awesome-and not-so-boring Halloween experience this year. Sakto lang.

Here’s my mama who’s so game to wear a wig. I love her sooo much.

The coolest grandma in town!

While me:

❝ You wanted fire? Sorry, Cheryl Bombshell, my specialty is ice. ❞

I dressed as Veronica Lodge for Halloween. 😅

Aaaaaaaand that’s all. Hope you have great weekend.

Osya, lemme close this post by saying this:

Sometimes you just need to relax, trust God and trust life because things will work out. Let go a little and let life happen.

Have a rockin’ day, dudes!

5 Books Read Recently

This is is my first try at doing something like this because I wanted to share the books I’ve read recently and have discussions about it.

I’m going to leave the synopsis of each book along with its corresponding cover. So here are the lists of my books.

1). Fire Falling by Elise Kova

Soldier… Sorcerer… Savior… Who is Vhalla Yarl?

Vhalla Yarl marches to war as property of the Solaris Empire. The Emperor counts on her to bring victory, the Senate counts on her death, and the only thing Vhalla can count on is the fight of her life. As she grapples with the ghosts of her past, new challenges in the present threaten to shatter the remnants of her fragile sanity. Will she maintain her humanity? Or will she truly become the Empire’s monster?

2). The Lies About Truth by Courtney Stevens

Sadie Kingston, is a girl living in the aftermath. A year after surviving a car accident that killed her friend Trent and left her body and face scarred, she can’t move forward. The only person who seems to understand her is Trent’s brother, Max.

As Sadie begins to fall for Max, she’s unsure if she is truly healed enough to be with him — even if Max is able to look at her scars and not shy away. But when the truth about the accident and subsequent events comes to light, Sadie has to decide if she can embrace the future or if she’ll always be trapped in the past.

3). The Bourne Supremacy by Robert Ludlum

Reenter the shadowy world of Jason Bourne, an expert assassin still plagued by the splintered nightmares of his former life. This time the stakes are higher than ever. For someone else has taken on the Bourne identity – a ruthless killer who must be stopped or the world will pay a devastating price. To succeed, the real Jason Bourne must maneuver through the dangerous labyrinth of international espionage – an exotic world filled with CIA plots, turncoats agents, and ever-shifting alliances – all the while hoping to find the truth behind his haunted memories and the answers to his own fragments past. This time there are two Bournes – and one must die.

4). Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls by Lynn Weingarten

They say Delia burned herself to death in her stepfather’s shed. They say it was suicide.

But June doesn’t believe it.

June and Delia used to be closer than anything. Best friends in that way that comes before everyone else—before guys, before family. It was like being in love, but more. They had a billion secrets, tying them together like thin silk cords.

But one night a year ago, everything changed. June, Delia, and June’s boyfriend, Ryan, were just having a little fun. Theirgood time got out of hand. And in the cold blue light of morning, June knew only this—things would never be the same again.

Now Delia is dead. June is certain she was murdered. And she owes it to her to find out the truthwhich is far more complicated than she ever could have imagined.

Sexy, dark, and atmospheric, Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls will keep you guessing until the very last page.

5). Sad Girl by Lang Leav

School is almost out for Audrey, but the panic attacks are just beginning. Because Audrey told a lie and now her classmate, Ana, is dead. Just as her world begins to spin out of control, Audrey meets the enigmatic Rad – the boy who could turn it all around. But will their ill-timed romance drive her closer to the edge?

Obviously, I’m so very diligent to read because let’s admit it. There are like a TON of great books and new releases this year which impossible for a bookish not to beat the reading slump. Because to be honest, after I checked some of those books it makes me giddy and I really did live up to the hype.

I love them so much that you need to check them out (and read them, of course!) if you haven’t read them yet. Hahaha.

Made In The A.M

For one year, I distracted myself. I directed my focus on things that mattered.

I focus on my work, I went out with my friends, I go traveling again. I was even went on a hike. I binge watching my tv series and reading my books too.

I did everything that didn’t remind me of you. I buried my feelings for you. I threw all the memories of you to the backs of my mind. I blocked the pain. I blocked the bad memories.

Yeah, I still talked about you everytime my friends asked something about you. But I only focused on the good ones whenever I told a story of you.

You are always my favorite story to tell, after all.

You will always be that red light.

I said to myself that was just a dream and if ever it happens, I would be way over it.

It’s been a year.

I know was done.

I know I was over it.

I know I was over you.

And it felt good!

Imagine my surprise when I saw you at the book fair with someone else, the girl you talked about before…

Sure, I was clouded for a moment, intoxicated by thoughts… until cold, hard truth slapped me in the face. I had to snap out of it — and I did.

You turned and you saw me. We locked our gazed. Good Lord, it sooo good that I felt nothing. I nod to you and smile even — I took that as a sign that I’ve officially moved on.

I finally came down from the fairy-tale high that is you.

After I ransacked MIBF for three hours — enjoying the books and meeting the authors there, I decided to go home. On the way home, I realized that what I felt for you wasn’t love. Yeah, I refused to believe that it’s love.

Love never fails.

Love is reassurance.

Love never wrong.

It’s supports you and won’t make you question your self-worth. It won’t make you wonder.

It is when you hope and long for a future. It makes you steady and believin even you feel as if everything around you is falling apart.

It is not love when you leave and step out of that door.

I never was in love with you, I was in fascinated/ obsessed with the idea of you.

You met every single one of my high standards. You were just like the piece that fit to my puzzle.

You were everything I could ever want.

But reality hits me.

You are very wrong for me.

What we have was toxic.

I don’t need someone who makes me question my self-worth.

I don’t need a guy to validate me. I don’t need a guy to care of me. I don’t need a guy who tell me that I’m worth any risk because I know am. I don’t need someone who wasn’t sure about me.

I felt a little bit proud of myself that found myself again. That pieces gradually falls into place.

You’re not worthy of falling apart for. Though, I’m still thankful. You taught me a lot of things.

You taught me that I could be sweet. You taught me to try to drink coffee. You introduced me to hiking.

I’m thankful because you’d listened to me whenever. I’m thankful that you trusted me. You opening up to me, going to me for advice and trusting my “words of wisdom.” I’m thankful because we talked about anything. Whenever we talked before it was always random and full of shitloads of fun that leads to GIF war.

I’m thankful that you accepted my crass and bluntness, never getting offended and shooting me back with your own witty humor.

I’m thankful because you respected me.

I’m thankful for those roadtrips, hiking, and late night walks. I’m thankful for picked me up at my work just to make sure I get home safe and for didn’t shy away from meeting my mom, that one time. I’m thankful for singing me my favorite songs.

I’m thankful because you’re the first guy to ever receive a hug from me and for that time that you held my hand while we’re walking. I’m thankful for those times I caught you staring at me with the smile on your face. I’m thankful also for those times that you even act gay just to make me laugh because I’m not in the mood.

I’m thankful because even we came to an end — and our friendship too, I was became head over heels happy. That even for a short while, I felt treasured.

You, Jughead, are my lesson.

Finally….

I am free.

2:09 a.m

Paper Towns | Book Review – Filipino Edition

“It is so hard to leave — until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”

I was very eager to read Paper Towns after reading two of John Green’s book in the past few months. I was so intrigued about this one because it has received good reviews. So, I scour all the nearest bookstore in hope of getting a copy, which didn’t become easy for me because they no longer have a stocks. Idk why. Luckily, after I went to four stores the hunt is over. I got myself a book but ufortunately, it’s written in Filipino. Huh! Honestly, I had a second thought if I gonna buy it or not. Though, the curious side of me won. I gave it a chance. It’s my first time to read an English novel translated in Tagalog and it may not be perfectly translated but it still bring an impact on local readers, I must say.

So now I make a quick review which gonna be in Taglish.

Summary

The protagonist Quentin ‘Q’ Jacobsen, whose boring life is turned upside down when the stunning Margo Roth Spiegelman climbs into Q’s bedroom — dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge. They have their night of adventure, but when Q wakes up in the morning, Margo has vanished. The main plot follows Q and his friends as they try to uncover the cryptic clues Margo left behind.

Review

This is very cleverly written plot. It has a great story, great characters and the writing makes me want to cry because it is so made of awesome. I can safely say that John Green is a new favorite. And if you notice, John Green writes in recognizable patterns. Palaging may roadtrip. Puno ng metaphors. He’s emphasizing too that journey and the destiny are basically different.

The Writing

The book is split into three parts namely, Ang Mga Tali at Pisi(The String), Ang Damo (The Grass), and Ang Sisidlan (The Vessel). Each section focuses on one of the metaphors. Malalim masyado mensahe ng kwento. Kaya pagtutuunan mo talaga ng pansin. Hindi mo na magagawang ibaba ang libro pag naumpisahan mo nang basahin. The best thing about this book was the discussion of identity. Yes, the story isn’t only focus on romance which I liked. John Green did a great job on it.

Tapos nabalanse niya ang paglalagay at pag gamit ng mga metaphors and oh the philosophical discussions with developed characters and some funny comedy.

Mayroon kasing libro — which I won’t mention — are so terrible and annoying that they made me cry in frustration and pull my hair out. Dahil bobombahin ka sa dami ng mga figure of speech na ginamit sa kwento at di mo na halos maintindihan yung nais iparating ng awtor. Siguro para maging malakas ang impact sa mga mambabasa pero sa totoo lang ‘di na naging appealing ‘yong dating dahil naging magulo na.

But Paper Towns is not one of them. It balance the comedy and mystery. It’s written in first pov which I see as an excellent choice to keep the thrilling and mystery of the next scene.

The Characters

Si Q ‘yong masasabi kong relatable na character. Iyong teenager a bit of a lost point in his life. His speeches are really very well-written. Marami siyang inner monologue e, at ikaw mismo mapapaisip at mapapasang-ayon. Siya ‘yong minsan na-in love at willing gawin lahat para sa taong mahal niya. Super interesting ng character. Hindi perfect pero lit.

Ang best friend naman ni Q na si Ben, which I can say na hindi ko masyadong gusto because of his derogatory language and backstabbing personality. However, I think he added drama and yeah most of the funny scenes are because of him. Radar by far is the most intellectual out of all the characters! He is laidback and funny. Lacey is the character I grew to like gradually.

And Margo is the most complicated character but you can still relate to her sometimes. Actually, yung character niya is more of idea kasi. Kung sino ba si Margo Roth Spiegelman. Everybody has different memories of her, and so sees her differently. Kahit ako may sariling interpretation kay Margo. Hindi naman siya ang main idea at character ng libro. Kundi si Q! Cracking Margo’s mystery serves to crack open Quentin’s own life, his relationship with people, his own view of Margo Roth Spiegelman, and his future.

Yung paghahanap niya kay Margo, sarili niya ang natagpuan niya. Perhaps that’s the bittersweet part of the story. When he utterly and completely found himself, kahit hindi naman talaga siya nawala simula sa umpisa. At yung magpaalam sa maraming bagay: his high school, his past, his ideal of Margo.

“Nai-imagine ko na ang isang uri ng kaligayahan, kahit wala na siya sa mga eksena ng buhay ko. Kayang-kaya ko na pala siyang pakawalan, dahil ramdam kong magka-ugnay pa rin ang pinagmumulan naming mga ugat. Kaya ko na siyang pakawalan kahit ngayon, at kahit hindi ko na siya makita pang muli.”

-Q

Plot

I love the plot! While it’s simple, it’s thought out and thrilling. It wasn’t predictable to me in any way. There’s a lot of comic relief also comes through Ben, particularly when he is drunk. The best part and of book was the roadtrip. Okay, hindi ako magspo-spoil. Hahaha.

This book is full of anecdotes, and wonderful observations about life. About making plans, leaving, the paper towns, paper people, Margo’s string theory, Whitman’s interconnected grass.

Nag-cameo rin si Moby Dick, Emily Dickinson, The Bell ni Sylvia Path, at Slaughterhouse-Five ni Kurt Vonnegut.

Message

Mamuhay ka kung sino ka talaga. Hindi iyong ikaw na sinasabi ng iba na ikaw. Hindi mo kailangan umarte batay sa pagkakakilala ng iba sayo at base sa kung ano ang gusto nilang makita bilang ikaw.

The Rating

I give this book 4.75/5. It’s fabulous, compelling and intriguing. Especially at the end, it will break your heart. It’s sad, but if feels right given the rest of the story. The title made of sense. I loved how the metaphors recur throughout the story, making everything flow together. It just made me want to read the next books more!